Article from: Sunday Herald Sun
CAROLINE JAMES, Key editor
February 11, 2009 12:00am
REAL estate agents are often guilty of talking in another language.
Unscrupulous agents may run “ghost'’ auctions, take “dummy'’ bids or actively “condition'’ vendors with claims the property market is “coming off the heat'’.
Property dialect is often amusing.
Did you hear the one about the “cosy'’ one-bedroom unit that smelled like sea air?
Intrigued, you organise an inspection only to find “cosy'’ means a 3m by 2m living room and the unit abuts a 24-hour fish and chips shop, hence its pungent salty stench.
Real estate speak can be confusing.
Perhaps you have been told there is “hot'’ interest in a property so the seller is “in the box seat'’.
When the open inspection rolls around, nobody attends.
“Make your best offer,'’ the agent says.
“You are definitely in the box seat'’.
Real estate promotional materials would often make a romance novelist cringe with their colourful, ambitious descriptions and acronym-rich text.
“Real estate writing is a lot like a Mills and Boon novel,'’ Keyhole Property Investments director Melissa Opie said.
“You are working for the vendor. Your job is to romance buyers. You only get one chance, particularly in a market such as this, so you’ve got to grab attention.'’
Ms Opie, an advocate for buyers and sellers, employs copy writers to craft her sales materials.
Realising “some people are better at the spoken word, some the written'’, she prefers to leave real estate writing to the experts.
A client recently came to her, excited by a property advertisement, telling her it “ticked all the boxes'’.
“I went for a look and found it was under a bridge and next to three car garages,'’ Ms Opie said.
“You could say it had been hit on the head, taken to ugly land.'’
The enthusiastic client was sent images of the property’s less marketable features. Not surprisingly, she didn’t want to take the sale any further.
“I’ve got to hand it to the seller’s agent — they did a very good job promoting that property’s best features and getting us there.'’
Buyer advocate Christopher Koren, of Morrell & Koren, likened agent language to “a secret society'’.
“It is the real estate equivalent of the (Free)masons, pretty much only used between agents,'’ Mr Koren said.
“The most important thing to ask agents is for plain speak”.
“Ask direct questions and you should get straight answers”.
If you are still bamboozled by property market propaganda, the Sunday Herald Sun polled real estate pundits for their favourite agent words and phrases and translated them to plain English.
Prepared to be amused, enlightened and disturbed.
CLEAN AGENT WORDS
May come up in polite property conversation and handy to understand if you hope to talk the talk:
Asking Price — the listed price of the property, open to negotiation, not a fixed price.
Fixture — anything of value permanently attached to, or a part of, a property.
Forthcoming auction, prior offers invited — the vendor wants, or needs, to sell prior to auction as they may have bought elsewhere.
Coming off the boil/cooling down/heating up/hot buying — reference to temperature is common in real estate circles: the hotter it is, the more expensive and/or desirable it is.
Gazumping — when a seller verbally accepts a buyer’s offer, but later sells the property by exchanging contracts with another buyer for a higher price.
Private treaty — a private sale.
Chattels — assets such as machinery, tools, furnishings and fittings that, if fixed to a property, can be easily removed.
Realisation sale — means desperate vendor or desperate estate agent. The next step usually involves the bank.
Motivated — if used to describe a vendor, can mean desperate; if used to describe an agent, can mean willing to sacrifice commission to sell property at any price.
Desperate — desperate.
DIRTY AGENT WORDS
These words won’t appear in any sales brochures, but if you hear them spoken, be wary:
Conditioning — the practice of convincing a vendor to lower the asking price. Treat with suspicion comments about how quickly lower-priced properties are selling in your neighbourhood.
Dummy bidding — an illegal practice of putting someone in an auction crowd with the aim of artificially inflating a property’s sale price with false bids.
Ghost or dutch auction — an auction-like private sale without fixed deadline. Multiple prospective buyers’ offers are privately disclosed to each other to try to raise the final sale price.
DECODING BROCHURES
When real estate agents get industry qualifications, some get a “poetic'’ licence:
Sophisticated city living — next to a noisy bar, expect drunks to knock on front door at 3am.
Cosy/intimate/petite home — no room for six-seater modular sofas.
Rustic — barn-like, without the livestock, could “need TLC'’.
Dolls’ house — a tiny home, may suit dust-collecting knick-knacks.
Sea glimpses — NASA-strength binoculars should render views of something wet; take a packed lunch on walks to beach.
Sea sounds — close to beach, but landlocked by six-storey factories.
Treed aspect/picturesque views — any view not of a brick wall.
Meticulously maintained/original condition — kitchen and bathroom circa-1950.
Master bedroom — outdated term, should read “biggest'’ bedroom.
Hostess kitchen — outdated, suggests cooking is a woman’s role; should read “kitchen'’.
1.5/2.5 bathrooms — half rooms do not exist; usually means a toilet with basin.
Country lifestyle — too remote to commute for work or food.
Country kitchen — expect floor-to-ceiling pine, potential for sauna-conversion.
Country charms — see rustic.
Excellent transport links — backing a busy train line or highway.
Opportunity to create your dream — home about to collapse, may have to invest twice the asking price to renovate before liveable.
Renovated, refurbished, redecorated — should read rebuilt, redecorated, repainted.
Architecturally designed — doesn’t necessarily mean an architect designed this home. May mean built to a plan that copied an architect’s work or by someone who’d like to be an architect.
Art Deco — should be used to describe a particular style of 1920s design, but often misused — a cream-brick house is not Art Deco.
Price reduced to sell — vendor very motivated to sell, see Motivated, see Desperate.
Prized inner-city location — could be first, second or booby prize, best to ask.
On-site pool, gym, sauna — expect to pay exorbitant body corporate fees.
Courtyard garden — an oxymoron; concrete pavement with pot plants is not a garden.
SLUG — unpleasant-sounding acronym for single lock-up garage.
DLUG — odd-sounding acronym for double lock-up garage.
TLUGWEDRSS — warning that acronyms can look ridiculous if over-used: in plain English triple lock-up garage with electric doors, room for storage space.
Phone: 1300 735 1616
www.mrsmortgage.com.au
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